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The advent of globalization and the ability to zip off to a foreign country courtesy of a seat sale has meant that the unique etiquette borne from local cultures is no longer as ‘curious’ a cultural curiosity as it was during the heyday of The National Geographic’s parachute journalism. That doesn’t mean we can’t learn a thing or two from the enshrined customs of other countries—even if a touch out of date.
Today, most of us don’t share a common understanding of manners or customs. The other day, the artist Billie Eilish was yanked by a concert goer so that she crashed into a barricade. While this may be an extreme case, behavior like this—unacceptable as it is—could be prevented with better home training. As Home Journal once noted in an article entitled “Neglected Manners,” “the bad manners of the young people of the present day are mainly attributable to want of home-training.”
There is much to say on this topic. But on a lighter note, what of the forgotten customs of foreign countries? For example, in Thai Buddhism, the head is seen as the most sacred part of the body, while the feet are the most impure. Thus, to pat someone on the head is seen as a sign of disrespect in Thailand. This is the same reason why shoes must be removed before entering a temple or other sacred space.
In Italy, when given a handkerchief (or an embroidered serviette) as a gift, it is customary to ask for a small coin in return; otherwise, the gesture is thought to bring tears. As in many areas of the world, it is also considered improper to gift someone chrysanthemums. These are customarily reserved for funerals and the flower shop fridges.
In Georgia, toasting is a serious business. The tamada, or “toastmaster,” (a translation that hardly encompasses the level of poeticism and leadership required of the role) is chosen by the host or the group. If called upon by the tamada, an attendee must rise and elaborate upon the tamada’s toast. This process often takes upwards of five minutes, during which you may raise your glass, but not drink. To drink before the toast has ended unless instructed otherwise, or to offer beer as opposed to sweet wine, would be quite the faux pas.
In traditional Kazakh practice, an animal is slaughtered in some instances to show respect to an uninvited or unexpected guest (in America, we’re more likely to simply pretend nobody’s home). However, the rule of thumb for konakasy (guest hospitality) follows a famous proverb: “If a guest arrives desired—kill a sheep; if unwelcome, lie and hold your stomach.”
In Argentina, the offer of mate, a traditional green tea, is a symbol of friendship. If your response to being handed a cup of mate is “thank you,” it is akin to a refusal, excluding you from the next round. Instead, an expression of appreciation is customary.
A tour of behavioral learning can be easily undertaken with a bit of reading up before booking that next trip, or even attending that next dinner thrown by a friend. Check out Serviette’s own spritz etiquette for some welcome tips for applying fragrance. And consider this newsletter an extension of our appreciation to our own Serviette community: a warm cup of tea, a boisterous toast, or, depending on the audience, a fresh cut of meat.